Sitting in the dark . . .
It's 5:15am, the click, click of my keyboard and the clocks are the only sound in our house. The sun hasn't even peeked over the horizon. The ring of the phone at night seems always to bring only bad news, as it did last night.
My sister called to say her latest test results show the cancer is back. We'd planned to meet on a wonderful trip to Wisconsin in late April. We haven't seen each other in over 46 years, after having been separated when our father died suddenly. She was taken, by my step-mother, from Michigan where we lived, to her home state of Maryland to be raised. I didn't stay in touch with my step-mother thus lost touch with my sister until a few years ago.
Living on opposite sides of the country was only one of the difficulties in arranging a meeting. But after a couple of bouts with cancer, it became more and more important.
Our plan was to visit my brother together. Now, this has all changed, as by late April she'll be receiving chemo treatments again to fight this terrible monster that keeps invading her body.
This really isn't just about me and a pity-party. To be fully honest, it is a pity-party, but not about or for me. More important than my feelings are my sister's. We lost one brother who had chosen to separate himself from the family, and now any chance of meeting him as an adult is gone. She also lost the sister who she was raised with of a heart attack suddenly last year. My sister's wish is to meet all her siblings . . . I'm the only one she hasn't met.
It's important to me to make this wish a reality. I pray that God will allow the many pieces of the puzzle to fall into place so that it will come to be. I want our meeting to happen in this life, and again in the hereafter.
Father, your will be done.
Where has the time gone?
For those of you who've stopped by while I was gone, I apologize for these long absences. 2005 ended with a roller coaster ride, and I wasn't able to get off in 2006. At the end of 2005 my oldest daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer. A particularly aggressive strain which mestastisizes to other parts of the body at a very fast rate. She has had the required surgery and has now started chemotherapy. I went to Tx on Feb 13th to help her out, and returned home the 25th. It was with mixed feelings that I left Tx, hating to leave, but at the same time anxious to get home to my dh.The cancer was found to be in her lymph nodes, however tests to check for it in other parts of the body have been clear, which is a real blessing.While in Tx it wasn't all bad news, the weather ran the gamut, with a high of 81° and a low that was cold enough to produce ice storms. My daughter taught me about "retail therapy" - when life gives you lemons, go shopping! My youngest daughter who lives about 3-1/2 hours away also came up for a couple of days and with her being a new knitter, it was my duty to show her a real yarn store. She had previously bought all her yarn on line, or in the hobby/discount store type places. Her response to the very large well stocked yarn store; "Wow, that's definitely yarn overload". I was proud of myself because I only bought yarn for her. The sole purchase made for myself was a set of purse handles. Dd#2 was much more reserved on her purchase than I could have been if my mom were paying! But she did pick a couple of beautiful yarns which she promptly used to start a scarf. We also purchased a really nice Lantern Moon basket for her to keep her knitting in. Then back at dd #1's I went through my knitting basket and gave her a bunch of stitch markers, a set of needles, and some other odds and ends, along with a book of scarf patterns I'd just bought for myself. No, I don't always support my daughters' habits but when you share a common interest it's hard not to. DD #1 is not the crafty type, but she's got an eye for home decorating that I'd give my eye teeth to have.Did I knit in TX. Of course! I had deliberately started a long skinny scarf to work on during the flight, which I finished and gifted to my grandson's fiancee'. I also started two scarves in Plymouth Africa, a 4" wide one and a skinny 2" one to see which my granddaughter would prefer. She chose the wider one and that's still on the needles. It was somewhat difficult to concentrate on my knitting with all that was going on, so I did a lot of "starting" but not much "completing". Other beginnings include a couple of evening bags.I've also finally begun the Bella sweater from knitty.com for dd#2. She chose a cotton/angora yarn in navy by Debbie Bliss, it's going well, but has a long way to go. I love the feel of the yarn.All that said, when I returned home I immediately put all those projects aside and started the Wavy scarf from "Scarves, A Knitter's Dozen" I've been promising to make for my oldest step-daughter, which is nearly finished. However, even with knitting at the proper gauge, using the yarn called for and the yarn called for it isn't quite long enough so now I'm looking for more so I can finish it. I'd hoped to find it locally, but the closest is another dye batch which I'll check out on Thursday. When this scarf is complete there is a shawl that is done except for two dropped stitches and I've ignored it absolutely too long, so I will fix that and then everything will be set aside so I can make dd#1 a shrug that she will wear when she has her chemo treatments. It's on the front of the Winter/Spring issue of Knit It.
After Christmas we went to visit ds #1 in San Diego and I had the opportunity to visit the two LYS's in Encinitas where I bought Noro Kureyon for a sweater for myself, but that's a "down the road" project which I haven't even chosen a pattern for. On the other hand, I've bought the Berroco sweater pattern "Cindy" which calls for Ultra Silk yarn. I may substitute a less expensive one if I can find one that will do the pattern justice.
Just before the trip to TX hubby helped me put some nice stainless steel wire shelving (on wheels) in my craft/computer room so I no longer have to stack my plastic bins of yarn four deep. Don't you know when they're stacked the yarn you want will always be in the bottom one even if it was in the top one yesterday! Now nothing has to be stacked. I've purchased small open baskets and bins for WIP's and for yarn that's designated for specific projects. I still need to sort some of the yarn by fiber, and color but when it's finished (I will, I will, I will finish it) I'll actually be able to find what I want without tearing the room apart.
I've parted with my collection of Disney Tinkerbell things, and my collection of antenna toppers (yep, those silly things you see on car antennas) to make room for my yarn. So I guess my only collection now is knitting needles. This collection I've only just begun!
On March 1st I celebrated my 1st "knitterly" birthday. I've been knitting for a whole year! Hmmm, maybe I'll buy myself more knitting needles for my birthday!
Hopefully I'll be back again before two months has passed. I do have one more trip planned, I'll be going to Wisconsin in late April. Of course I've also told dd#1 that I'm only a phone call away. So if I'm not back for a while you'll know they still have me trapped on the rollercoaster.
Did I mention, I hate rollercoasters?